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CHICAGO vs BERLIN
Text: SHAWN BLORE
Illustration: NORMAND COUSINEAU
1. Soft Drink/Beer Ratio
In the windy city, a six-pack of Goose Island beer costs US$8.10, a chunk of change more than six Cokes. But watch out. As one policewoman warned about public drinking, "You could go to jail." In contrast, two half-litre Berliner beers are € 1.40, just a wheat sheaf more than a one-litre Coke at € 1.15. Buy beer right on the street, morning or night, and drink it without the baton-wielding Polizei batting an eyelid.
In a perfect world, 1:1 or a score of 100; anything lower is sobering.
Chicago 36.2
Berlin 92.1
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2. Carbohydrate Comparison
Chicagos carb is a slice of deep-dish (half-inch-thick crust!) pizza from Lou Malnatis Pizzeria. Quality was high at 73, as were grams of fat (27 per slice). Lou offers 11 ingredients, five combos, cheese and crust options
for just over 6 billion variations (officially, 18). The Berliner, a jelly-filled, sugar-coated doughnut, scored 80 (offset by 25 grams of fat). We found several varieties, including the ("Ich bin ein") JFK Berliner.
A Parisian croissant is a baseline 100; other carbs must rise to the challenge.
Chicago 64
Berlin 62
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3. Babe and Hunk Index
Scoping Chicagos babes and hunks at four locations during the St. Paddys Day parade, we say its a good thing the Irish are lucky. Even with seasonal adjustment for a chilly day, the city of broad shoulders came in butt-ugly last in our standings. Temperatures were ein bischen colder in Berlin, but measurements from four points still yielded up a respectable 52 (equally split between men and women).
Summed average of stylish head turners in a crowd of 100.
Chicago 26
Berlin 52
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4. Street Life Indicator
Chicagos Magnificent Mile yielded neither food nor drink but had flags for sale; African drummers and a man banging on a bucket; a StreetWise newspaper vendor; an "I hate commies" protester (the Cold War is so over); and beggars. Berlins streets featured beer and soft drinks, fruit and veggies, sausages and hot dogs, Soviet army surplus, a mime dressed up as Napoleon, panhandling punks and Amnesty International fundraisers.
Percentage of goods and attractions available on a busy street or square.
Chicago 71
Berlin 100
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5. Public Order Index
The decent burghers of Chicago set an occasional (5.25) jaywalking foot on the pavement. But the traffic is abysmal: A 4.3-km Saturday afternoon trip from the Gold Coast to Lincoln Park crawled along at 23 minutes. In Berlin, a sizable 21.67 jaywalking score shows that "only following orders" doesnt extend to pedestrians. A swank Mercedes taxi ride from Nollendorfplatz to Alexanderplatz (5.6 km) in the afternoon rush hour took only 14 minutes.
Average number of jaywalkers in a crowd of 200 people (low score, low fun factor).
Chicago -0.07
Berlin 19.2
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Conclusion
Chicago plays Second City not just to Berlin but to every other major city so far sampled. Ouch!
Chicago 197.1
Berlin 325.3
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STANDINGS:
| Rio | 383.3 |
| Rome | 380.3 |
| Paris | 353.5 |
| Mexico | 346.1 |
| Amsterdam | 343.2 |
| Buenos Aires | 331.8 |
| Zurich | 325.8 |
| Berlin | 325.3 |
| London | 294.1 |
| Mumbai | 289.5 |
| San Francisco | 283.8 |
| Tokyo | 283.8 |
| Hong Kong | 281.5 |
| Moscow | 277.9 |
| Shanghai | 259.2 |
| New York | 255.1 |
| Toronto | 249.1 |
| Washington | 242.0 |
| Montréal | 233.9 |
| Los Angeles | 220.6 |
| Vancouver | 213.1 |
| Chicago | 197.1 |
Next Match : St. Petersburg vs. Havana exclusively at enroutemag.com in December 2004.
Watch for a Civilization Index finale in January 2005. [ ]
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St. Petersburg vs Havana
Rome vs Buenos Aires
Washington vs Moscow
Mexico vs Tokyo
London vs Mumbai
Chicago vs Berlin
San Francisco vs Shanghai
Toronto vs Zurich
Hong Kong vs Vancouver
Montreal vs Amsterdam
New York vs Paris
Los Angeles vs Rio de Janeiro
STANDINGS
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