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TORONTO vs ZURICH
Text: SHAWN BLORE
Illustrations: NORMAND COUSINEAU
1. Soft Drink/Beer Ratio
In Toronto, a $10.75 six-pack of Labatt’s Blue costs more than three times as much as six Canada Dry. What’s worse, public tippling is verboten. In Switzerland, on the other hand, a six-pack of Feldschlösschen (SFr 8.4) costs only marginally more than six Cokes (SFr 6). And as an added bonus, nobody minds if you chug your lager out in the open.
In a perfect world, 1:1 or a score of 100; anything lower is sobering.
Toronto 27.5
Zurich 83.6
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2. Carbohydrate Comparison
Toronto has more donut shops than churches, and Tim Hortons devotees are infinitely more fanatic. The Bloor Street Tim’s has 23 types (not counting various Timbits), including the highly popular, ecstatically fatty and delicious honey-glazed Crueller. The Swiss carb of choice is a Gipfeli, a high-alpine version of the croissant, available in seven types including sourdough.
A Parisian croissant is a baseline 100; other carbs must rise to the challenge.
Toronto 102
Zurich 89
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3. Babe and Hunk Index
Hogtown’s beautiful people were equally distributed at each of our four sampling locations, and they were as likely to be male as female. Toronto is so egalitarian. Zurich presents a more intriguing case. The babe count at Central (near the universities) was almost triple that of the beauty-starved Paradeplatz. And at every site, there were about 50 percent more babes than hunks.
Summed average of stylish head turners in a crowd of 100.
Toronto 50.7
Zurich 54.7
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4. Street Life Indicator
Toronto’s Yonge and Queen revealed countless hotdog stands, a preacher with a spare robe (in case you want to join in), a salesman in Nathan Philips Square and beggars at almost every corner. A stroll through Zurich’s Niederdorf area yielded roasted chestnuts, Bolivian merchants, hippie banjo players and junk jewelry – but no beggars (something Toronto could clearly export).
Percentage of goods and attractions available on a busy street or square.
Toronto 71
Zurich 80
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5. Public Order Index
Even considering a free-form crossing seems to be a thought crime in Toronto, but at least the taxis run on time (3.10 minutes/km). The Swiss reputation for orderliness is undeserved, thanks to their enthusiasm for hopping in front of traffic. In Central, pedestrians even crossed against the red right in front of a frustrated traffic cop. As a result, Zurich taxis move at a quasi--glacial 4.33 minutes/km.
Average number of jaywalkers in a crowd of 200 people (low score, low fun factor).
Toronto -2.1
Zurich 12.5
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Conclusion: Orson Welles famously remarked in the film version of The Third Man that 500 years of democracy and peace in Switzerland produced only the cuckoo clock. Toronto, after 150-odd years of orderly conduct, could only dream of such an achievement.
Toronto 249.1
Zurich 325.8
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STANDINGS:
| Rio | 383.3 |
| Rome | 380.3 |
| Paris | 353.5 |
| Mexico | 346.1 |
| Amsterdam | 343.2 |
| Buenos Aires | 331.8 |
| Zurich | 325.8 |
| Berlin | 325.3 |
| London | 294.1 |
| Mumbai | 289.5 |
| San Francisco | 283.8 |
| Tokyo | 283.8 |
| Hong Kong | 281.5 |
| Moscow | 277.9 |
| Shanghai | 259.2 |
| New York | 255.1 |
| Toronto | 249.1 |
| Washington | 242.0 |
| Montréal | 233.9 |
| Los Angeles | 220.6 |
| Vancouver | 213.1 |
| Chicago | 197.1 |
Next Match : St. Petersburg vs. Havana – exclusively at enroutemag.com in December 2004.
Watch for a Civilization Index finale in January 2005. [ ]
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St. Petersburg vs Havana
Rome vs Buenos Aires
Washington vs Moscow
Mexico vs Tokyo
London vs Mumbai
Chicago vs Berlin
San Francisco vs Shanghai
Toronto vs Zurich
Hong Kong vs Vancouver
Montreal vs Amsterdam
New York vs Paris
Los Angeles vs Rio de Janeiro
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