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NEW-FASHIONED FAMILY VALUES

So your company has a code of ethics. Now your household needs one too.

Text: DON TAPSCOTT

OCT '04

I was lunching recently with three clients who are active members of the Church of BlackBerry. In the midst of a vigorous discussion, I looked down to cut my fish. Suddenly there was silence. When I looked up, all my dining partners were engaged in the BlackBerry Prayer – the act of looking reverently and silently at one’s lap to discreetly check e-mail.

Some might have found this behaviour offensive, but I didn’t. I’m a BlackBerry user myself. This was a business meeting, and they were tending to business. Their high-pressure jobs require constant contact with the office. But I hope my dining companions know where to draw the line. Do they perform the BlackBerry Prayer at the dinner table at home? And are their kids sitting beside them using cellphones to text message their buddies too?

Because of enormous leaps in technology, both the way we spend our time and interact with others and the values that we hold are coming into question. More than ever before, we need to step back and consciously design our lives. We need to decide what we stand for and whether we are the slaves or the masters of the new technologies.

There are two factors requiring us to adopt a more take-charge attitude about how we live. The first is the rise of pervasive computing. Soon everything will be constantly connected to the Internet, including us. The growing number of little gadgets we carry will morph into one über-gadget that is constantly on-line. These little BlackBerry/PDA/digital camera/MP3 player/video camera/GPS devices will continue to shrink in size and increase in functionality and ease of use.

Today it’s obvious when your lunch companions check their messages on the sly. But soon, you won’t be able to tell. Their eyeglasses will have little video screens that can bring up any image they want. While you talk, they can check their e-mail or watch the news. Of course, you can do the same, calling up the text of Macbeth when you want to impress your audience by dropping some Shakespearean bon mot.

The second factor requiring us to take charge of our lives is the pervasive information these gadgets bring us. The world is becoming transparent, and we can no longer plead ignorance on important day-to-day issues. A couple of years ago, I thought about buying an SUV, the bigger the better. But when I raised the topic at the dinner table, my kids began quoting unfavourable Websites and studies. "Does this mean our family is officially against the Kyoto Protocol?" my daughter demanded. I replied that some SUVs actually get good mileage and that I’m attracted to a large vehicle because I believe it is safer. But what I was really thinking was: "Hey, I just want to buy a big honking car!"

When I was a kid, family life was blissfully simpler. Dad went to work. Mom didn’t. Workers put in their hours in factories or planned their day at the office with the telephone being the only source of interruption. We had clear values, taught by our parents in the home and reinforced weekly at church. There was no pornography in the house – or for that matter on the newsstands. This was the mid-1950s, and the burning question of the time was whether Ed Sullivan would show Elvis grinding his pelvis on his hugely popular TV show. (The answer is, all images of Elvis were waist up.)

Consider the contradiction in our culture: Smart companies take initiatives to help their employees cope with the new technology-rich world. They give them training on time management and values-based enterprises. They ensure that integrity is part of their corporate DNA. They design business models and structures that best serve the organization and maximize the effectiveness of its people.

But on the home front, most families muddle through this brave new networked world, stumbling from decision to decision or crisis to crisis without a comprehensive strategy. All of us should consciously design our family life. We need to make deliberate choices about how our families will function and what we believe in. We need to adopt a values statement and constantly revise it as the world changes. Don’t complain about technological overload. Harness the power of the new technologies for the better; design them rather than having them control you. [ ]

ADD YOUR COMMENTS > dtapscott@enroutemag.net

OCT '04