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HOW TO LIVE WELL
71 trends, tips and pieces of more or less practical advice on surviving the year in style.

Text: JAMES MARTIN & AMY ROSEN
Reports: NATASHA MEKHAIL & CHANTAL TRANCHEMONTAGNE

SHOOT A SLAPSHOT If a monkey can fire a slapshot, so can you. Robert Vince, a left-winger-turned-Hollywood-director, taught a chimp to play hockey for MVP: Most Valuable Primate. (The chimp blew away Brett Hull when the pair faced off.) First things first. Lose the high stick. "One of the myths is that you need a big windup," says Vince. "The best slapshots come from about waist level because you aren’t wasting any of your power." Keep your arms slightly bent but stiff – don’t let your bottom arm buckle. Snap that wrist. "A lot of the ‘whip’ comes from your wrist action after the stick hits the puck." Don’t take your eyes off your stick, and follow through so your stick and head are pointing exactly where you want the puck to go. J.M.

DRIVE A FAST CAR Think you’re cool, driving your big-ass SUV? Nothing can rival the experience of cornering in a sleek ride like a Porsche. Hurley Haywood – speed freak, winner of 10 Daytona, Le Mans and Sebring races, chief driving instructor for the Porsche Driving School – offers the following pointers. Ladies and gentlemen, start your engines. Be smooth. Don’t manhandle your baby whether steering, shifting, braking or accelerating. Don’t be afraid to put the pedal to the metal – you’re driving a fast car, and it will almost be insulted if you don’t. On curves, take the widest possible arc and hold it through the turn (on a racetrack, not on the open road with oncoming traffic). Suppress the urge to crank up the stereo (definitely uncool). Haywood’s big on safety: Do a general car check (oil, tire pressure, lights). Buckle up. Obey the rules of the road (or track). And when somebody walks up to you and says, "Nice car," the appropriate answer is "I know." C.T.

RIDE A SEGWAY Sure, laugh at the Segway Human Transporter (that odd two-wheeler hailed as the future of locomotion), but consider this: The only thing geekier than riding a Segway is wiping out on one. "The most difficult thing is understanding how little the driver has to do," says Alice McLarty, a U.S. National Parks employee in Washington, D.C., who test drove one for five days. (You don’t even have to balance because the machine’s five gyroscopes take care of it.) Lean forward to make the Segway drive forward. Lean way forward to crank it to top speed (20 km/h). Lean back to slow down. Lean way back to go in reverse. Steer by rotating the handlebar grip. Ridiculously easy. "Actually, it’s programmed to resist tipping over, so falling off isn’t really an issue," says McLarty. But since looking cool is impossible, wear a helmet anyway. J.M.

TAKE A NAP The bad news: Healthy adults shouldn’t need to nap. The good news: If you nap, do it every day at the same time. (Early afternoon is best.) "You want your body’s natural rhythms to adjust to the routine," explains Dejan Lukic, a sleep technologist at the St. Michael’s Hospital Sleep Laboratory in Toronto. Time it right: More than 20 minutes may leave you groggy, but less than 10 won’t do your body any good. "Ideally, you want a nap to mimic the conditions of an overnight sleep: lying down, preferably on a bed, in a dark, quiet room with the temperature in the high teens." Charge a cubicle-size futon to your expense account at your own discretion. J.M.

MIX A PERFECT COCKTAIL Start with a classic recipe. The Lumière tasting bar (www.lumiere.ca) in Vancouver is dedicated to the renaissance of cocktails "from a time when men drank like men and women... also drank like men," says bar manager Chris Stearns. His favourites: the Negroni, Sidecar and Waldorf. Use only fresh-squeezed citrus juices and good liquor and liqueurs (not necessarily premium brands). Never add artificial flavours or colours. As for the mixing, shake each drink vigorously, using fresh ice. "A drink only requires about 10 seconds of shaking to be flash frozen, but you need to shake it hard." You may free-pour your whiskey, but always measure your cocktails. "Great cocktails are subtly balanced, and heavy-handed pouring can disturb their delicate equilibrium." Stumped? Consult Cocktail: The Drinks Bible for the 21st Century by Paul Harrington and Laura Moorhead, and David Wondrich’s work on Esquire.com. Or go to Vancouver and have Stearns pour you a tall cool one. A.R.

MAKE YOUR OWN SPICES Toronto’s Xacutti restaurant (www.xacutti.com) takes its name from a spicy Goan mixture that employs bird’s eye chilies, coconut and a secret blend of roasted spices that you just can’t get from a jar. The New Indian cuisine is all about savoury complexity, and "Roasting and grinding spices brings out more robust flavours," says chef Brad Moore. His favourites include cumin and fenugreek seeds and saffron, and aphrodisiac spices like star anise, cinnamon, peppers, chilies and cardamom. "These are flavours that build and continue to linger in the mouth." Buy whole spices at an Indian or Asian grocery and roast in a dry hot pan, then grind in a spice grinder. A.R.

GET YES FOR AN ANSWER Toronto discount store king Honest Ed Mirvish knows a thing or two about the hard sell: "You gotta tell ’em what they want to hear. People can’t say no to a bargain! The important thing is to figure out what it is that the person wants. Once you find out what those needs are and fulfill them, then people won’t say no to you. But you have to consider whether your own demands are fair. If you’re just looking for personal gain, you have to accept that you’re not going to hear yes all the time." One other suggestion: Just get yourself a nickname like Honest Ed. J.M.

WORK A ROOM Stop the kind of predatory power schmoozing that makes it look like you’re working the room. "Networking is for opening doors, not closing deals," says career enhancement author and speaker Marjorie Brody. J.M.

WRITE A THANK-YOU NOTE Robert B. Dimmick (also known as The Etiquetteer, (www.etiquetteer.com) grew up in a proper household in Louisiana reading his mother’s 1937 edition of Emily Post’s Etiquette – and the rules for writing out a thank-you haven’t changed much since then. A proper thank-you note "doesn’t have to be long and it doesn’t have to be perfect, but it has to be in your handwriting and it should go out within two weeks." Do invest in good quality paper or lovely stationery – personalized is especially sexy. Don’t be afraid to express sincere affection (see below). And don’t try to take the modern way out. "A note is more important than e-mail," insists Dimmick. "You can use both to acknowledge, but the handwritten note is required to thank." A.R.

BE SINCERELY SINCERE Irony has been pronounced dead more times than Rasputin; sincerity’s where it’s at. How to restore that loving feeling? Fred Rogers, the long-time host of Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood, says there’s no quick fix. "We either care about our neighbour or we don’t. It’s important to be other-oriented, to use our eyes to see what’s important or special or dear about the person we happen to be with at the moment. So many people when they’re offering condolences or concern immediately talk about themselves. They’ll say, ‘I’m so sorry he has cancer,’ and then the very next sentence is ‘My mother has cancer... ’ It’s like an invitation to talk about themselves. An old Quaker maxim jumps into my head: Attitudes are caught, not taught. I really think that sincerity is caught by human beings from the people around them. It’s an attitude that can grow or not grow in life." J.M.

SELECT A WOMEN’S HAT Get ready for the long-heralded return of the hat. Karyn Gingras, the custom milliner behind Lilliput women’s hats (www.lilliputhats.com), says, "The only real rule for hat buying is to have fun." No rules then, but some pointers: A hat should be worn straight across the forehead, just above the eyebrows and with the tips of the ears tucked in. It should not move around when placed on straight or leave a mark on your forehead when you remove it. Short? "Avoid a wide-brimmed hat as people will not see beyond it." Glasses? "Choose a hat with an up brim so as not to cover the eyes." Square jaw? Asymmetric or profile brim. Colour? "Yellow tones and greys are hard to wear around the face in the dead of winter," while pink, even fuchsia, looks pretty on most gals. A.R.

DANCE COOL Are your moves straight out of a Molly Ringwald movie, circa 1986? Nadine Ramkisson, former host of MuchMusic’s Friday night dance show Electric Circus, plucked most of the show’s amateur dancers (and some future pros) straight from Toronto dance floors. She knows cool dancing when she sees it and thinks you will too. Watch music videos and emulate "any artists that have a troupe of dancers behind them," from Missy Elliot and Pink to Janet Jackson and Madonna. As for the "crazy, freak-of-nature dancing" practised at raves, your only hope is baptism by fire: "Just try to fit in. The secret to not coming across as a loser is just grooving to the beat and having a good time." J.M.

PREPARE A RAW FOOD MEAL When chef Roxanne Klein’s cookbook Raw (co-written with chef Charlie Trotter) hits the shelves this spring, prepare for a raw-food explosion. Her eponymous restaurant in Larkspur, Calif. (www.roxraw.com), serves up haute all-raw, all-vegan (no meat, fish, poultry or dairy products) vittles, like pad Thai with shredded coconut subbing for noodles. Start by going to farmers markets. Get to know the growers. Smell the produce. "Finding things in season that are packed with flavour is the key to eating raw." Never heat anything above 48°C. At that temperature the enzymes are destroyed, and "without enzymes, the digestion process doesn’t work as well and the food doesn’t have that same life force." At Roxanne’s, innovative techniques like using dehydrators, frothers and high-speed blenders are coupled with organic ingredients and contrasting temperatures. The benefits? "I’ve been eating this way for 5 1/2 years, and I haven’t gotten sick once; I have more energy than I’ve ever had; my skin is clear... and I’m 38 years old with four kids." A.R.

HANG A MASTERPIECE Tired of sneaking your favourite Raphael out of the Vatican, only find that Madonna and Child with St. John the Baptist clashes with your couch? For as little US$50, you can buy high-quality, limited-edition prints of rarely seen paintings, maps and manuscripts from the Vatican Library and the New York Botanical Garden, exclusively at Vedo.com. Nowyou can invite the Pope over with a clear conscience. J.M.

MONOGRAM YOUR CLOTHES It’s not just hankies and shirt-tails anymore. (Although Southern belle Reese Witherspoon is said favour traditional monogramming.) Madonna started the current trend, embroidering her retronickname "Madge" on an unlikely item: a Juicy Couture hoody. Every starlet and her pet Pomeranian have followed (sweat)suit. At shopbop.com, more than half of the shoppers opt to have their Juicies monogrammed, says the on-line store’s buyer Erin Crandall. Thinking of taking needle in hand yourself? Crandall’s advice: "Don’t bother." Machine monogramming is an affordable (US$12) way to personalize your togs with endless combinations colours, initials, names and lettering styles. A.R.

DECONSTRUCT A SHIRT Fashion whores from haute-trash house Imitation of Christ to Vogue are getting in on the recycle, deconstruct and customize trend. Julia Grieve and Rena Cooke of Preloved (www.preloved.ca) have chopped and spliced vintage shirts and pants for celebs like Heather Graham and Alanis Morissette. They say there’s a simple way to achieve this look at home: Troll your family’s dresser drawers for kitschy old T-shirts (extra-tight for sex appeal). "You’re looking for cool logos, prints and colours," says Grieve. Chop off the arms, cut out the neck - leave everything raw. That Run for the Aged shirt never looked so hot. A.R.

LOOK GOOD IN A BROWN SUIT You, too, can wear winter’s hottest colour without looking dead, says Douglas Mandel, co-designer of Montreal’s avant-garde Kamkyl menswear label (www.kamkyl.com). The key is choosing the right shades and fabrics. "Wear brown as if it’s black. Make it look sharp." People often go on autopilot when dressing in brown, thinking with a crisp white shirt and a solid navy tie – navy mixes well with dark browns," advises Mandel. A.R.

GET OFF AN AIRPLANE FEELING FABULOUS Jetsetter Brigitte Gall has one complaint about her enviable gig as host of World’s Greatest Spas on the W Network. "I hate the smell of feet that have been held hostage in vinyl boots!" To bypass the stink and feel fully civilized on deplaning, Gall suggests packing the following in your carry-on and using them during the flight: antibacterial wipes, Dr. Scholl’s foot powder, zip-lock bags (marked with a skull and crossbones) for the offending hosiery, slip-on shoes and fresh socks. "Of course, there’s the usual – drink a litre of water for every hour you fly, avoid coffee, wear loose-fitting clothing," Gall says. "Sure, that all works, but the effort expended outweighs the end result. Now you’re just a sleepy traveller in rumpled clothing who has to pee a lot." A.R.

USE A WOMEN’S URINAL Restroom lineups are one of the final frontiers of feminism. Fortunately, tony establishments ranging from La Bergère boutique hotel in Maastricht, Netherlands (www.designhotels.com), to Montreal’s swank Whisky Café (www.whiskycafe.ca) are getting hip to she-inals like the Urinette, a stand-up receptacle modified for the female anatomy. Without a lot of intimate details, here’s what you need to know: No, it’s not messy. Gravity does the work, carrying liquid through a tube and into the urinal. Yes, it’s sanitary. You cover the only point of contact with a disposable liner. No, it’s not practical. It involves eight steps compared to the regular four. The real satisfaction comes from knowing you’ve achieved lavatory equality – and no longer having to hover over the bowl. N.M.

GIVE YOURSELF A MASSAGE If you can’t swing the Massage 101 course at The Four Seasons Spa in Scottsdale, Ariz. (www.fourseasons.com), spa director Karin Steidel offers a few tips for a do-it-yourself quickie at your desk. Feet: Pull off socks and, using a cooling lotion (with rosemary or peppermint), massage feet to increase blood flow. Shoulders: Stretch each arm over head, using fingertips to knead out knots. Head: Massage pea-size amount of menthol lotion into temples. Using boarbristle hairbrush, brush hair repeatedly from scalp to ends. Massage pressure points in the meaty part of the palms, at the base of the thumbs, to relieve headaches. Back: Buy wooden-bead massage roller (at The Body Shop or a spa) and roll it up and down your spine. Mind: Disregard curious glances from co-workers. A.R

... and 51 more!

CELEBRATE OFTEN WITH CHAMPAGNE.

Listen to Miles Davis’ Kind of Blue.

Have a crush on at least three people at a time.

Curse a blue streak.

Butter, not margarine.

THROW OUT YOUR SCALE.

Fish for salmon on the Miramichi.

Hire a babysitter. Get a motel. Don’t come home till morning.

WATCH GRACE KELLY MOVIES. DUPLICATE ACCENT.

Buy fresh bagels from Montreal’s Fairmount Bakery.

Eat a dozen Krispy Kremes in one sitting.

That thing you’ve been wanting to tell your boss? Do it.

Mix strong drinks.

OVERSPEND ON NEW BEDSHEETS.

Change your mattress.

Spend an entire day in a hammock. Read Richard Ford’s The Sportswriter.

Study a language you will never need to use.

Throw lavish parties.

Sit up straight. All day long.

BUY A TURNTABLE.

Have sex more than once a week.

Give generously.

Have Vancouver’s Hidekazu Tojo prepare your sushi.

Go for a drive. Just for the hell of it.

Put lots of old Motown in CD changer. Press random.

BUY A RED DRESS.

Sleep outside at least once a year.

Turn off your stupid cellphone.

Stay at Le Château Frontenac (for the view).

Pack light.

ASK FOR HELP. IT WON’T KILL YOU.

Use good sea salt.

Banish powdered creamer.

Eat more Italian food.

Better yet, go to Italy every five years.

The Oban 32.

READ SOMETHING THAT’S OVER YOUR HEAD.

Turn off the TV. Call your mother. (She’s waiting.)

Learn all the words to "My Way."

Always keep Tabasco on the table.

LEARN TO WALK LIKE A SUPERMODEL.

Build a pond. Stock with koi.

Learn to make tea.

Say goodbye to your psychiatrist.

Get an elegant ashtray. Even if you don’t smoke.

ICE CREAM. ESPECIALLY HÄAGEN-DAZS FRENCH VANILLA.

Take a holiday from your credit cards for a month. _Shop Canadian Tire.

WATCH TRUFFAUT’S JULES ET JIM WITH TWO FRIENDS.

Get business cards that say "Bon Vivant."

Learn to do the Heimlich manoeuvre. On yourself.